adult jokes

Saturday, September 12, 2009
I didnt know weather to put this in the free irish jokes page or the free adult jokes page

7 English men and and Irish man in a rape line up.

The victim walks in and paddy steps forward and shouts..

Yeah thats her the miserable twat.

Free redneck joke

A redneck takes his daughter to the doctors after she complains of morning sickness.

The doctor says is your daughter sexually active

is she fuck he says. she just lies there like her mother.

Free nun joke

2 nuns driving thru the jungle when a bunch of natives stop the car with pointed guns.

Show them were Gods women No effect.

Show them the Bible. Still no effect.

Show them your cross


funny free dirty slut joke

Lady goes to Grocers for a cucumber do you want that sliced love said the man.

what for says the lady its a fanny ive got not a fucking slot machine

funny free little jonny joke

Little Jonny says to his mam,is it ok to have a willy

Yes said his mum why do you ask

Cos my dads upstairs sweating like mad trying to pull his off

adult free joke

Old man goes to the doctors. Doctor i think my wife is dead

Why do you think that replies the doctor

well the sex is the same but the ironing is stacking up.

Bridgened free joke

went into halfords in Bridgend today to buy a tow rope........? and they asked what collar size i was

dating agency free joke

The girl from the dating agency called me to get some personal details last week. I told her iam 6ft2, look like brad pit, millionaire, and have a 12"inch dick, She replied fuck off ill call you back when you are not with your mates

Dirty Cow free joke

Sharon and Sandra left the pub pissed, Sharon said ive called a taxi but it hasnt turned up, Sandra said leave it to me, Sharon turned round and there was Sandra under a cow sucking one of its teats. Sharon says what are you doing. Sandra replied sucking one of these four blockes off he might have a car and give us a lift home.

Your Mama Jokes

Your mama so stupid she threw a rock at the ground and missed.

Yo mama so fat she put mayonaise on her asprin.

Your mama so ugly she made an onion cry

Your mama so dumb, she called the operator to see how long it takes to get from London to New paris, the operator said "just a minuite", she said "Thank you". and hung up the phone.

Your mama so fat, she was floating in the ocean and Spain claimed her for the new world

Little Jonny free Joke

The teacher was telling her students in the sex education class about human anatomy. She took her pointer and pointed to the picture of the female and said, "the female has two breasts and one vagina. She then pointed to the male picture and said, "The male has one penis." Little Johnny jumped up from his seat and said, "That's wrong teacher." Why do you think I'm wrong, Little Johnny?" asked the teacher. My daddy has two of them," explained Little Johnny. "One that's about three inches long that he pees with, and another one that's about eight inches long that he brushes the babysitter's teeth with

Another free Little Jonny Joke

Little Johnny sees that his friend at school has a new watch so he asks him how he got it. I waited until I heard the bedsprings squeaking in my folk's bedroom and then I ran in. My dad gave me a watch to get rid of me. replied the little friend. Little Johnny, thinking that this was a cool idea waited that night until he heard the bedsprings squeaking rhythmically and then ran into his folk's bedroom. What do you want!", asked his dad. I want a watch! said Johnny.

Well sit down and shut the fuck up, replied his dad

Your mama's So Fat... Joke

Your Mama is so fat that she got baptized at Sea World!

Your Mama's So Fat...Joke

Your mama's so fat, she wore an X-Files T-shirt and a helicopter landed on her.

Your mama's...Old joke

Your Mama is so old, when I told her to act her age she died.

Your mama's...Bus joke

Your Mama is like a bus, she's big she doesn't smell very good and it's only a dollar to ride.

Loving Wife free joke

An elderly man is on his death bed although he can feel the end is near, he smells a lovely aroma and realises his loving wife of 60 years is baking his favourite cakes, he finds the strength to drag his knackered body to the kitchen, as his frail withered hand reaches up to the table, he suddenly feel the whack of a wooden spoon as his wife barks FUCK OFF THEY ARE FOR THE FUNERAL

Inteligent Women free joke

Scientists have discovered that most women will at sometime contain inteligent DNA. Unfortunatley most of them spit it out.

free Dirty Bitch joke

A geordie guy meets a woman, on the first date they go for a drink, later on in the car she says i want you to kiss me somewhere dirty and smelly. Fuck that he said iam not driving to middlesbrough this time at night.

Clock free joke

A man shouts to his wife. come here and look at my clock. she walk in to find him naked with a hard on. she says thats not a clock, he replies it will be when you put two hands and a face on it.

Relative Humidity free joke

The teacher asked science class what is Relative Humidity Jonny the geordie answers. its the sweat you get on your bollox when your riding your cousin

free Sick cat Joke

Whats black and white and starving..??

Keith leadgers cat..